So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
