ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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