I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Randomize
