sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
