I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just forgot I was standing up.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize