I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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