please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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