She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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