Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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