weddingsv make me drug and hornr
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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