So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
