My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
