i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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