is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
