Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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