I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
