I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
