I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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