Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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