took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
