Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
