Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
