Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize