Where is the hickey?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
