Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
