Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
