the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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