I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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