But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
