I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
