3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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