i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
