The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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