are you still at the devil's house?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
