Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
last night I used snow as a chaser
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