I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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