if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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