did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
the liver wants what the liver wants
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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