and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize