Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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