Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
