She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
