the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
