i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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