The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
