Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize