:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
