Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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