I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
