Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
