I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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