He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
