Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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