Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
