you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Sober January is a disaster.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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