Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
