Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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