i think my tv is drunk
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
nutella sex= disaster
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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