either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
