toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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