u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
