We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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