sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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