woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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