roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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