u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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