Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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